K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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