sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
