worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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