dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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