When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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