is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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