Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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