I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
