Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we made out on top of his cat.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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