hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize