The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was CRYING into my vagina
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
