Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
