walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
