She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
