I will die if light touches me.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
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I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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