Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
