your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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