also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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