Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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