gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
