my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
