I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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