so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
