somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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