3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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