I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
