I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
