I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
