Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I didn't notice because vodka
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize