I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
and you fell through a lawn chair
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
