Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
