Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
