Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
