You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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