its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
