non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
