Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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