If i come over, it means nothing
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
