You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This is my gift to your gina
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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