I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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