Who wears a wallet chain?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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