hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
