I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize