There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
