I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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