Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you win again, gameday.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
