i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
