The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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