I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
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The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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