I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize