College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
