I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
