That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
