I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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