Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
