i need an iv and a liver transplant
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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