Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
