Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
