I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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