I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
