How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
