omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
