I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize