No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
