Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
