If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
